Porcelain Love

Okay, so where have I been? I've been busy. I've been putting my creative juice into other projects. What projects? I don't want to say at the moment, but be assured that I'm making progress.

Also, I've been posting little tidbits over at Deadlantern.com. The gang over there have been kind enough to take me into their fold.

Anyway, once again, for your patience and kind e-mails, I'm giving you a gift. This is something from long ago. Among a group of my friends, it's a bit of a legend. While I don't think it deserves that status, I do think it's a lot of fun. Get it for free before you end up having to pay for it. Once again, I've provided it in all of the most popular e-reader formats...

"Porcelain Love" PDF

"Porcelain Love" MOBI

"Porcelain Love" epub

"Porcelain Love" Lit

As a bonus, you can find the link for the short screenplay based on the story here.

Autumn Bones (fiction)

Happy Valentines Day! I know it's been a long time since I posted anything, so I decided to give those few fans I have a small token of my gratitude...and affection.

I first wrote this about seven or eight years ago and believe it is as close to a love story as I've ever written. Sure, one of the lovers is dead, but that doesn't mean it's not a love story.

I've converted it into all of the popular E-reader formats for your consumption by way of E-Reader or E-Reader app on your phone or computer.

MOBI (Kindle)

EPUB (Nook)

MSreader

PDF

Thanks for all the support, gang.

EXXXPLODY FILES

Three more amazingly entertaining (any exaggeration is purely the product of the person writing this) episodes of Deadlantern's The eXplody Files are up and ready for your listening pleasure.

First up is the two part mytharc extravaganza of Duane Barry and Ascension.

Then listen as we discuss the vampire centric Three, along with the X-files-30 Days of Night comic book crossover, in which I show my true geek side.

Also, be on the lookout for a new -- well, revamped -- project from Deadlantern that I'm extremely excited to be a part of. That's right, Blackfoot Lounge will be returning with a new cast, new format and an all new topic. This time, it's going to get NASTY.

Don't forget to visit the Deadlantern website and purchase a copy of their official selection from the 2010 Drunken Zombie Film Festival, Outpost Doom.

ME & THE MONSTER

Many years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties and before I spent my very brief stint in film school, me and a few friends had aspirations to make movies. We would sit around nights talking about it but would never actually get off our asses and make it happen. After one of these nights, I went home and decided I was finally going to do it.

Thus was born, ME & THE MONSTER. It is very rough, very raw and very embarrassing in more ways than one, but I'm still damn proud of what I managed to accomplish in only 6 hours.

This was in an age where digital video cameras did not exist (yes, it was that long ago) and editing software did not come pre-installed on every, if any, computer. This was shot on tape and edited IN CAMERA. That meant I had to shoot the whole thing in order, which, out of frustration, lead to some hastily taken shots, shots that run longer than they should, bad focusing problems and a thousand other issues.

When you watch it, remember that I had to do everything. That includes turning on and off the camera, trying to zoom in with the use of a remote control, and even rigging a chair that I could pull with a rope attached to my foot so I could get a tracking shot. If you watch carefully, you'll even notice I'm holding the camera remote in every shot that I'm in.

It is pure camp, very personal, and for some reason, people, many I didn't even know -- one a dean of arts of a local university, really seemed to like it. But this was back before you had teenagers with all the equipment anyone would ever need to make a film, posting their After Effects extravaganzas on YouTube. Now days, the only word for this is -- LAME.

In truth, it's incredibly hard for me to watch, but it's also a nostalgic reminder of where I come from. Plus, it reminds me of why I mostly stick to writing these days. It also amazes me that I don't look all that different, other than, thanks to a lot of running, I now weigh about twenty pounds less.

So ladies and gents, allow me to present the very first, but nowhere near the last, film I ever made...oh...and there's a nice stinger after the credits...

Horror Movies 2010 (Listicles)

The new year is knocking, so here are the horror movies I loved and hated in 2010. Remember, I'm not claiming one film is better made than another, only that I enjoyed it more. This will explain how I may have given one film a better review than another while still placing it lower on the list.

My top ten horror films:

10. Frozen - Adam Green's little film about a group of people stuck on a ski lift might not be perfect, but it's a great example of how a simple idea can be turned into a fun little horror film.

9. Shutter Island - Sure, you can see the ending coming from nearly the first frame, but I really love the look and feel of this film. I also feel Scorsese improved on Dennis Lehane's novel.

8. Piranha 3D - While the 3D was post converted and failed to overwhelm, the film was buckets of bloody fun.

7. The Crazies - While the zombie craze continues to lumber out mindless low-budget trash and horrible Hollywood misfires, the makers of this remake to George Romero's 1973 film brought some intelligence and real menace to the proceedings.

6. REC. 2 - I was a huge fan of the original REC. and the sequel managed to build on the story and take it in a far more interesting direction than any zombie/infected film I've seen.

5. The Last Exorcism - This first person riff on the Exorcist is handled with such a deft hand that I'm still not quite sure how to interpret the final turn of the cards.

4. A Serbian Film - How can I put a film that I tell people not to watch on a list of films I enjoyed? That's a tough question. While watching A Serbian Film is one of the most wrenching experiences I've ever had, it has also led to some of the best film discussions I've seen or been a part of in years. When all is said and done, 2010 will always be known by horror fans as -- The Year of A Serbian Film.

3. Let Me In - While many feel a remake of the Swedish masterpiece, Let the Right One In, is redundant, especially since the original is only two years old, I feel the remake is capable of standing on its own merits as a modern classic.

2. Splice - I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love Mad Scientist Films, and this modern Frankenstein tale is among the best I've ever seen. It is an intelligent and mentally exciting film that I hope finds a huge following in the future. Yes, I was aroused by the adult Dren.

1. Black Swan - An intense psychological ballet that swoops, spins and dances with a maddening intensity. Daren Aronofsky continues to be the most exciting filmmaker of his generation and Natalie Portman's performance is something to behold. Not just the best horror film of the year, but the best film.

My top 10 worst horror films:

10. Survival of the Dead - George, I love ya', man, but just stop already.

9. La Horde aka The Horde - A french zombie film that tries like hell to be unique and exciting. Too bad it stumbles and falls about a thousand mile from reaching its goal.

8. Hatchet 2 - Adam Green made it on my list of favorites with Frozen, but man did he misfire with this return of Victor Crowley. Not even the presence of Danneel Harris could save this over-baked turkey.

7. Birdemic - I don't give a fuck how unintentional funny you think this piece of shit is, it's still a piece of shit.

6. Giallo - This work for hire mess by Dario Argento is ridiculously bad. Unlike Birdemic, this film is worth watching just to marvel at how bad it is. You won't be laughing, but you will be enthralled by the ineptitude. Adrien Brody, the star who plays dual roles for no apparent reason, successfully sued to have its release blocked and the DVD copies that did slip out pulled from shelves.

5. My Soul to Take - Wow, Wes. I would love to hear your excuse at what happened with this. On second thought, just keep it to yourself.

4. Law Abiding Citizen - Not horror? Then what do you call a movie where a guy hunts down and brutally kills people, many of them innocent, to perpetrate his psychotic revenge plot. This ineptly written film shits all over itself and then smears it all over the audience. Seriously, we're supposed to identify with this nutcase, played by Gerard Butler? There's no wonder it's making most critics worst of lists, it's that bad.

3. Animals - What do you get when you take a great novel by a pair of my favorite writers, John Skipp & Craig Spector, take away everything that makes the book great, use some ridiculously bad energy-beast(?) looking CGI to replace what is supposed to be werewolves and then call it a movie? You get this atrocity. This personally hurt me more than any other film on this list.

2. Saw 3D - Why did I even bother? I mean, I kind of liked the first film, but the rest were just crap. Did I really think this would be different?

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street - Why waste such an opportunity? Why even bother to try relaunching what could be a money making cash-cow if you're not even going to try? This is the worst film going experience I've had since Warren Beatty and Madonna tricked me into going to see Dick Tracy. Shame on you, Platinum Dunes -- you ruined a great opportunity.